Turning Japanese

My husband has a name that sounds Japanese. In the months preceding our marriage, we often joke that if either one of us was mistaken for Japanese they would be wrong. In fact, he is of mixed European descent, and I am pure Chinese.

Of course I have never felt very Chinese to begin with.

My eyes have folds, an uncommon but lucky trait. I can’t hold a conversation in either Cantonese or Mandarin to save my life. I purposely flunked out of Chinese school to watch Saturday morning cartoons. In high school, I was thankful for the C+ I got in college-prep level Chem. And when it came to a college career, the thought of majoring in business gave me panic attacks.

So I majored in writing

(In a strange twist of irony my Chinese name means something along the lines of “wise poet.”)

Taking on your husband name is often a big debate. There are many reasons for “for” and “against,” but finding the answer is never the right one for you.  Yet there are very few answers regarding taking a husband’s last name when you are of Asian descent, and his name only sounds Asian. 

In fact there are absolutely zero.

Which left me with the dilemma: should I keep the name I was born with or to play a giant practical joke on the world to have an ethnic name to which I have no relation?

As a result I felt a bit confused myself. And then there were times I wondered if I was more Japanese than Chinese.

When I crave food, I crave ramen, real ramen. I have more friends who speak Japanese than Chinese.  I go to more Japanese-related events than Asian-American festivals. Our DVD library is composed of mainly anime we hardly watch anymore. Lolita fashion, a Japanese fashion style has helped me find long-lasting friendships since I first moved to New York City. We have more reasons,  connections, and opportunities for us to travel to Japan than China/Hong Kong.

In the end I chose to hyphenate to differentiate between the two. There are so many experiences that have changed and shaped who I am today that I can’t bear to give up.  There are times I wonder if I should change it completely because that's just the way things should be.

But for now, after one month of being married there's still some time to get used it.

And it does have a nice ring to it.

Breaking Routine

Pigeons are funny city birds. They roost in any awning-like structure they can. When in groups (and not being fed breadcrumbs) they are terrifying just bobbing their heads mind their own business and your unsure of their next motive.  And if you're not careful they will ruin your new glasses that you just bought.

However this is a pigeon that was by my apartment door.  Usually pigeons react skittishly when people approach them. Only when they see you as non-threatening do they return to their business.

This one did neither. I even took a picture with my phone as proof of the oddity. With zoom. No movement. It stayed in the corner.

Back in college I had my own method of writing - as in I would finish everything that could potentially distract me (homework, cleaning room, eating, etc) so I could focus all my concentration on writing.

Unfortunately, while this was unbelievable simple in college it is nearly impossible to do in the adult world.

So like this pigeon, I am breaking routine and try to write when I can.